10 Random Poker Quotes

• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• "I had 2 high." -Sammy Farha
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.