10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "I guess there's nothing left but all in." -Greg Raymer
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts