10 Random Poker Quotes

• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• Fish don't eat Nutz!
• The only way to win is to play. Unfortunetly, it is also the only way to loose.