10 Random Poker Quotes

• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• If you could lose all of your money again... what would you have done differently?
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier