10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.