10 Random Poker Quotes

• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• Seldom do the lambs slaughter the butcher. -Amarillo Slim
• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz