10 Random Poker Quotes

• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• "Poker is 100% skill, 50% luck" - Phil Hellmuth
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.