10 Random Poker Quotes

• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• "No river, no fish."
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• "In low limit hold em' deception plays a less significant role. Either someone is already looking at that hand or will call out of curiousity." ---Lee Jones