10 Random Poker Quotes

• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Fook the floosh droo!
• If luck wasn't a factor, I'd win every one. -Phil Hellmuth
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.