10 Random Poker Quotes

• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• in the poker game of life women are the rake
• "It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter." --Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks