10 Random Poker Quotes

• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• I'm just looking for a way to get outa here.... --------Doyle Brunson, goes all-in WSOP2003
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.