10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• I'd rather be good than lucky, I'd rather be lucky than lose...
• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• Why not, when some because there are three.
• "I guess the sayings' true. In the poker game of life, women are the rake man. They are the f---kin' rake." - Worm (Rounders, 1998)