10 Random Poker Quotes

• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• Welcome to kicker school
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• I'm a better poker player than I am a player. -RedGrant
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---