10 Random Poker Quotes

• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]