10 Random Poker Quotes

• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss