10 Random Poker Quotes

• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• Don't challenge strong players, challange weak ones. That's what they're there for. - John Vorhaus, author of Killer Poker
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.