10 Random Poker Quotes

• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• "No river, no fish."
• Those eggs smell delicious!
• If you can't spot the sucker at the table, guess what..
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."