10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• I suck, therefore I suck out. North Shore Mike
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• A great poker player knows when he is playing poorly.
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"