10 Random Poker Quotes

• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• "Why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker EVERY YEAR? What, are they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas?" - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• "I had 2 high." -Sammy Farha
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• "If you want to know what lies on the road ahead, ask the man whos on the way back" anon
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen