10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• "In low limit hold em' deception plays a less significant role. Either someone is already looking at that hand or will call out of curiousity." ---Lee Jones
• It's Free To Fold...
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986