10 Random Poker Quotes

• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• This site pulls more flushes than a public restroom!!!
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."