10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels