10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• In the game of life, women are the rake. - Worm
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• Poker players and police officers have alot in common. Hours and hours of boredom with a few moments of sheer terror.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."