10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Fish don't eat Nutz!
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]