10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Never go broke in an unraised pot" -T.J. Cloutier
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"