10 Random Poker Quotes

• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• Poker is like life, most people don't learn from their mistakes they only recognize them. C.Arel
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• Kiddie games down the street! -- mike matusow