10 Random Poker Quotes

• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet