10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• it is true that you may fool all of the people some of the time: you can even fool some of the people all the time: but you can't fool al of the peole all the time. -Abraham Lincoln
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• "All-in, bitches!!!"
• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.