10 Random Poker Quotes

• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• Sometimes nothing's a pretty cool hand -paul newman-
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• I'm a better poker player than I am a player. -RedGrant
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright