10 Random Poker Quotes

• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• "All-in, bitches!!!"
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.