10 Random Poker Quotes

• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• I'd rather be good than lucky, I'd rather be lucky than lose...
• " The commonest mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; happens at the poker table all the time."
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.