10 Random Poker Quotes

• im going to 2 out you to death
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."