10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• "If i dont make that final table, nobody's gonna remember me next year. If i do make that final table, Im a poker legend overnight" - Dutch Boyd 2003 WSOP Main Event
• Don't challenge strong players, challange weak ones. That's what they're there for. - John Vorhaus, author of Killer Poker
• Overhead at a ring game during a tournament when people where discussing there bad beat knock outs etc "Ya I got knocked out of both tournies the same way....I got caught Bluffing"
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.