10 Random Poker Quotes

• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• "The lucky player is usually the player that knows how much to leave to chance." flintsword
• Poker players and police officers have alot in common. Hours and hours of boredom with a few moments of sheer terror.
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.