10 Random Poker Quotes

• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• If you can't spot the sucker at the table, guess what..
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]