10 Random Poker Quotes

• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• "I guess there's nothing left but all in." -Greg Raymer
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss