10 Random Poker Quotes

• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it
• I'm too good for you, you might as well flip those 2 cards over.
• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.