10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• " The commonest mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; happens at the poker table all the time."