10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Most of these quotes are abysmal and submitted by the sort of idiots who fill the partypoker chatbox with words like 'phuktard'
• You have to piss with the dick you have