10 Random Poker Quotes

• You have to piss with the dick you have
• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Those eggs smell delicious!
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright