10 Random Poker Quotes

• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Never educate a stupid poker player.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• This site pulls more flushes than a public restroom!!!
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.
• People who play poker often wear raw hide.
• "No river, no fish."
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword