10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue.
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• "You will show your poker greatness by the hands you fold, not the hands you play." -Dan Reed
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Seldom do the lambs slaughter the butcher. -Amarillo Slim
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• People who play poker often wear raw hide.