10 Random Poker Quotes

• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• Someone on here said that "poker is for fat American losers". That sounds a lot like the ramblings of a foriegn homosexual who's busy scratching a broke ass.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson