10 Random Poker Quotes

• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• After taking a beat: "How bad do they play?...This is the World Series of Poker!" -Phil Hellmuth Jr.
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• Poker players and police officers have alot in common. Hours and hours of boredom with a few moments of sheer terror.
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.