10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Fold and live to fold again
• Seldom do the lambs slaughter the butcher. -Amarillo Slim
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• If you can't spot the sucker at the table, guess what..