10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• I'm too good for you, you might as well flip those 2 cards over.
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"
• "It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter." --Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.