10 Random Poker Quotes

• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• Kiddie games down the street! -- mike matusow