10 Random Poker Quotes

• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson