10 Random Poker Quotes

• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Fold and live to fold again
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.