10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.